‘They let themselves go.’
When The Daily Mail talked to midlife women who are now repulsed by their ‘disgusting’ husbands, this was what they were most guilty of.
But it turns out women aren’t the only ones to find their partner’s habits off-putting: plenty of men had plenty to say in the comments section.
So, I asked both men and women to tell me things their partner did or said that turned them off big time.
The responses kept coming…and coming. And still haven’t stopped.
‘You HAVE to include this!’, girlfriends insisted as they furiously typed their turn-offs.
‘All women should know men HATE this,’ texted the men.
Here’s a snapshot of what both sexes find unbearable about each other.
Tracey Cox (pictured) asked both men and women to tell me things their partner did or said that turned them off big time
Getting drunk in public
‘He can’t hold his drink and it’s getting worse as he gets older. He gets argumentative and prickly, then falls asleep. I can’t take him anywhere. This will break us up.’
Being pretentious
‘My wife does this thing where she says words like ‘croissant’ or ‘paella’ the way it’s pronounced in the country of origin. She thinks it’s impressive. I think it makes her look pretentious and try hard. I want to crawl under a rock when she does it.’
Being a ‘know it all’
‘Who needs google when she’s around? She knows better than everyone else – including experts in their field – and talks over everyone.’
Putting things near rather than in things
‘The dirty socks next to the laundry basket. The coffee cups next to the dishwasher. What is wrong with men?’
Pronouncing things incorrectly
‘It highlights the difference in our education and makes me doubt his intelligence. It’s even more cringey when it’s in front of other people.’
Insisting on talking about politics when it’s clear no-one else wants to
‘He’s far left, I’m far right and so are most of our friends. It starts arguments and makes my friends dislike him even more.’
Talking in a baby voice
‘She thinks it’s cute. It’s not. She sounds stupid.’
Talking incessantly
‘She gives me a running commentary of every thought that runs through her head. Nearly all of it is banal rubbish about topics that have never and will never interest me.’
Being miserable all the time
‘Grumpy old man is right. He’s depressing to be around and can’t see any reason to change.’
Bigging herself up
‘My theory is that the less successful the person, the more they boast. I don’t think my wife is capable of telling a story without making herself the heroine of it. All she talks about is how great she is and how she saves the day.’
Mansplaining things I already know
‘I’ve got a PhD in it but he’s going to explain it ‘properly’ to me anyway.’
Terrible breath
‘I’m not sure what’s going on but her breath stinks. I told her and got told where to go but there’s no way I’m kissing her until she does something about it.’
Wasting time
‘I could have gone to the gym, got the kids up and off to school and done a day’s work in the time it takes him to have coffee and get ready for the day. It’s unattractive and infuriating.’
Constant scrolling
‘I know everyone in the world does it, but it doesn’t make me like it any less. My partner spends at least six hours a day on their phone. It’s moronic and time-wasting. Get a life.’
Being obsessed with social media
‘Her entire day is dictated by how people react to her posts and what other people put up on social media. It’s pathetic.’
Only wanting to watch rom-coms
‘She has no curiosity about world events or people who shape them. Would it kill her to watch the odd documentary or the news occasionally? Then we might have something to talk about.’
Doing the passive-aggressive ‘fine’
‘It’s not fine and it’s clear it isn’t. Why not say, ‘I’m not happy about that and here’s why’.’
Expecting me to mind-read
‘I think she thinks she handed over a handbook when we met. How else am I magically supposed to guess what she wants? Apparently, ‘if I really loved her’ I would know how to do everything right.’
Repeating the same stories
‘She’s told me the same story three times this week. Is she forgetful or thinks it’s so interesting it deserves retelling?’
Everything I say he takes the wrong way
‘He’s always on the defensive and puts a negative spin. Now I hardly speak at all.’
Watching videos on full volume in public
‘It’s such an old man thing to do – and he’s not even old. Disrespectful as well.’
Sharing intimate details of our life with her friends
‘She says I don’t let myself be vulnerable with her. Why would I when I know I’ll be the entertainment on her (many) girl’s nights out.’
Coming home from a girl’s night out drunk, crying and emotional
‘She used to wake me up for sex. Now she wakes me up to tell me how unhappy she is that I don’t love her enough.’
Going silent during an argument
‘Refusing to discuss problems isn’t going to make them go away. They ferment and get worse.’
Sulking when they don’t get their way
‘It’s like living with a toddler. Childish and unattractive.’
Running with a backpack on
‘It’s deeply unsexy. Stop pretending you’re a fitness guru and grab your phone and water like everyone else.’
Being over tidy
‘Her lips go into a thin line if there’s so much as a coffee granule on the kitchen bench. It’s ridiculous!’
Wearing frumpy, unflattering clothes
‘She used to dress sexily but now the theme is mousy. Everything I loved her in – short skirts, heels, nice underwear – is all suddenly ‘age inappropriate’. She’s only 35. Come on! She’s just lazy now we’re married.’
Moaning about being ‘fat’ when she’s not
‘I tried reassuring her, but it does nothing. I can’t stand it for much longer.’
Revolting feet
‘His toenails are thick and yellow and his heels are cracked and disgusting. I’ve given him the tools to fix the problem, but he never does. Every time I look at his feet, it makes me feel sick. He knows it but still does nothing about it.’
Long, ugly toenails
‘Her toenails are always excessively long with big gaps between the cuticle and where the nail polish starts. It’s basic upkeep, surely, to keep yourself tidy? She’s got long toes, as well, that hang over the shoes. It makes my stomach turn every time I look at them.’
Putting on lots of weight
‘He’s put on three stone in the last three years and it’s not difficult to figure out why. His bum stays on the couch and one hand is always inside a big crisp packet.’
Leaving the toilet in a mess
‘I can cope with the loo seat up all the time but not him having the decency to clean off the skid marks. It’s vulgar.’
Chewing with his mouth open
‘He’s eating. I’m mentally filing for divorce.’
Finding nail clippings everywhere
‘On the sofa. In the kitchen. On my desk in my office. Then he expects me to find him sexy when it comes time for bed.’
Loud throat clearing, sneezing and yawning
‘Why does he have to do everything at full volume? It’s gross.’
Leaving hair everywhere
‘It’s in the shower, on the pillow, in the food she cooks. I even found one inside a sealed Tupperware container. It’s minging.’
Putting perfume on before bed
‘Is it for my benefit? I don’t find it feminine; it just gives me a headache.’
Breaking wind and not even apologising
‘I complained and he told me to get over myself and stop being ‘stuck up’.’
Wearing cardigans
‘My husband used to be the best-dressed man wherever we went. Now he wears an old-man cardigan over a stained, too-tight T-shirt. And still expects me to sleep with him.’
You’ll find information on Tracey’s books, columns, products and podcast at traceycox.com.
